Back On The Work Force

So, it's been 2 weeks to the day since my wisdom teeth extraction. I thought well before now that the swelling would have gone down, and the pain would have diminished, but unfortunately not. My swelling is down probably 99%, but not 100%, and the pain I'm still dealing with. Sometimes I can't even chew on a piece of bread. I can't open up my mouth to even fit in a spoon full of soup. Bullshit I think, but today I get to meet with them. Talk to them about this, and the fucking hole in my tongue which still isn't completely healed either. So we'll see what happens...

In other things... I got a job! The only thing holding me back from being completely happy with this whole pregnancy was the fact that I'd have to rely on my parents to support my child. I couldn't take the fact of knowing that, so having a job really does uplift my spirit 10 fold.

I love Martha so much. I can;t fold back my feelings for her. The way she makes me feel, and loving every minute I spend with her means so much to me. When my friends have a problem, most of the time I'm the first person they come to, and to hear them talking about how their girlfriend left them, and so on and so forth, it kills me because I know how I felt when she left me, and to know they know how happy I am really hurts me because I have no answer. My friends trying to move on and do what he's got to do, but I couldn't. She, look at my old blogs. I was in a fucked up place... And people can give you advice and say this and that, even if they've been there, but nothing helps when it's you going through it right then and there... Anyways, my friend who was going through shit told me he envies what me and Martha had... He was jealous that we had what we have, and how lucky we both are to have each other. And it really hurt me, because I love Martha so much, and I can't hide it... I LOVE MARTHA! But I can just imagine how he feels knowing how happy we are, when he's feeling like shit. He's like my brother, and this is a place I don't want to see him. Shit, I ono...

Moving on... Baby news??? Anyone??? You? Okay, if you really want hear it... We still don't know if it's a boy or girl. Me and Martha both kind of agreed we want a boy, and she even thought it was a boy for awhile, but now she's saying that she wants a girl. At first, I couldn't imagine having a girl... I would be such a fucked Dad, I just know it. I'd be so paranoid of dipfuck guys playing their fucking games... I wouldn't let her date, haha, I'd be the typical Dad in high school movies, and guess what happens... they sneak out anyways and get into shit that I'd never want my daughter to go through. I'm so surprised, and thankful for the relationship I have with her parents, because if I was them, I would hate my guts... Anyways... the whole point is, that's how I thought, but when you actually are pregnant, everything changes. I want a healthy baby. I want a child... Boy or girl, I will love him/her with all my heart, soul, and every fiber in my body... Hopefully soon we will find out, and I can't wait...

So that's about it for now... Talk to ya'll later!