One Week Of Baby

So life with the baby isn't as difficult as I thought. That's a different story for Martha though. I feel bad because she has to do so much, and I can't do much to help her. I'm trying but it's hard because I need to sleep for work, while she's up all night feeding him and changing his diapers. I'm sleeping through his cries and I know it upsets Martha, so I'm making it my personal goal to make her feel like she's not alone in this. Her boobs hurt a lot from breast feeding, and we can only hope it gets better. I hope it does. Jake turned 1 week yesterday and it is just so amazing. He is so beautiful and I love him, and Martha so much!

MY TOP 10 SONGS FOR MAY 2010 (SO FAR)
1) Get Out - CIRCA SURVIVE
2) Both Sides Of The Story - WE ARE THE IN CROWD
3) Letters And Love Notes - GO RADIO
4) Goodnight Moon - GO RADIO
5) Inside Of You - THE MAINE
6) More Than A Feeling (Boston Cover) - HIT THE LIGHTS
7) Lights Out - WE ARE THE IN CROWD
8) Your Love (The Outfield Cover) - I SEE STARS
9) Fall Asleep First - GO RADIO
10) Why I'm Home - GO RADIO

A Brand New Dad, A Brand New Start

Finally... after 9 agonizing months, I, John Van Mulligen, am indeed a father! WOO!!! I can't explain the feeling to look at him and know I helped create him. I can't even think of what to type because the feeling is so amazing, I just had to make a post... WOOO!!!!!!!

My Sleep Patterns Changed

Great song by The Early November... but anyways... my sleep pattern has changed. It's scaring me because I will literally sleep for 12-13 hours and Martha will finally wake me up and I'll still be tired... Today was probably the first day I got to wake up on my own, and even waking up I'm still tired. It's like my body can't get enough sleep, and even when it does it still wants more. How am I supposed to handle waking up 5 times a night to deal with Jake, when I can't sleep 13 hours without still being tired, AH! Lol, guess I'll have to suck it up... I've been taking that 5 Hour Energy and it really works, but Martha doesn't want me taking it anymore, so I don't know, we'll see...

BABY NEWS: Martha and I went to the doctor's where he informed us that she hasn't dilated yet, and that Jake is still growing. We're going to have to wait another week for an update, as well as get another ultrasound :). I like ultrasounds, but I don't like how Martha is being effected by this long pregnancy because the longer it takes, the more time he has to grow inside her, and it raises the likeliness of him having to be delivered by C-Section. We're crossing our fingers, but we both agreed that Jake's health is our number priority so if she has to get cut from stern to bow for him to be delivered safety then it is what it is, but of course we'd rather have a healthy Jakey delivered vaginally... It also scares me to, because him being the size he is, whether it's through C-Section of vaginally, I, personally, worry about Martha's health. I hope and pray nothing happens to her. That was my number 1 worry from the get-go... so many women die during pregnancy, I couldn't bare to raise Jake alone without her. Not saying I wouldn't or couldn't, but just imagining how hard it would be. Not hard in taking care of him alone, but hard knowing she's not here to raise our child together. It hurts just thinking about it. I still miss the days we'd smile and rub her belly together and smile and talk about him and what we're going to do when he's born. Now it's been reduced to crooked gazes talking about when he's going to be out so the pregnancy can be over with. Hopefully we can get back to the way it used to be soon. I'm still hopeful but I don't blame her for feeling the way she does, because I can understand, and it hurts me to see the pain she's in, and how we both just want it to be over with so we can finally hold Jake. I get chills still thinking about it :) COME ON JAKE COME OUT ALREADY, haha... any day now... 11 more days...