Almost Time

Everything seems ti be moving so fast. It seems like the other day I was complaining to Martha how long 9 months is and then BOOM! She's already full term. I'm excited, scared, nervous, happy, so many emotions, but they all center around disbelief. I still can't believe I'm having a kid. After going through all the doctors appointments, ultrasounds, baby showers, shopping, even visually seeing Martha grow and grow each day, it still hasn't sunk in. I guess when I see him pop out and I'm holding him in my hands that's when it will feel real.

I still can't help but think I'm still a kid. There are so many things I don't know yet, but I have to teach my son so many things. I go to work, trying to make enough money to support us and pay the bills, but I don't think it'll ever be enough. I'll always feel like I have to do more, because essentially I wish I could do more. I feel like I'm letting Martha and Jake down... before I even have chance to I'm already psyching myself out. It's hard... I'm going to be raising my son away from home, away from my friends, away from my house even. Supporting and raising Jake is by me going to work everyday and that's a big burden. But I know it's something I have to and will do.

I can't help but think he's going to be here soon. She is full term, so he's ready and can come out any day now, but he's so big. Martha's 37 weeks, but he's measuring 41 (when he was measured at 36 weeks he was measuring 40, so I'm just adjusting). He's a big baby... BIG baby... I wonder what he's going to look like... me and Martha... What attributes will he have of mine and which he'll have of hers... That one ultrasound is the closest thing we can go by, and it for sure don't look like me, lol... But that can all change when he's born...

The doctor's appointment on Tuesday will tell us where we stand and hopefully how much further we have to go. Can't wait till then...

Thinking About Toby

I was on this website looking at funny pictures and one was of a Rabbit Letter Opener and it reminded me of Toby. I hated that rabbit sometimes, but I loved him so much. It sucks he's gone... it's been over a year, but it makes me think what he'd be like now... I might have even brought him up here to Oregon with me... But he's gone, and I shouldn't be dwelling on the past, but it is what it is...

Dos Days Off

Got my first check from work last night. A night which I worked for 12 hours straight... crazy, but anyways... I am making $8.40 an hour (OR minimum wage), so after 4 days my check was around 140 bucks... Cool, I guess, I mean it's money coming in so that's always good. I have 2 days off, and it's highly needed. I'm so tired... With how my schedule is, I work all day, then am forced to go to bed and sleep through the day till I work again, so it's nice to get back on track as far as sleep goes. I had to play Chuck E. for the first time, and that was nerve racking. It's so hard to see out and I had to walk through the entire establishment, but luckily I made it through. I am really glad to get to relax now...

This weekend is Martha's first baby shower, I'm not sure if I mentioned this in a previous post, but she is having 4 baby showers. One for her mom's side of the family, another for he dad's family, another for my family, and the last from her youth group. This weekend is my families, and I'm excited for it, it should be fun.

That's about it... I think I need to update my blogger information, so I'm going to do that right now, I'll post another blog soon.

April Showers Bring April Blogs

So... it's been a long time, a lot has gone on. For starters... I'm in Oregon now. Me and Martha moved up here in February, and things have been pretty good I guess. She's huge (from the pregnancy of course), and she's having all sorts of aches and pains that keep me busy when I try to relax, but it's okay. I got a job working at Chuck E. Cheese, and everyone asks me... Yes, I get to play Chuck E. Actually everyone that works there has to at some point, so yup... I haven't got to play him yet, and I'm kind of glad because it ain't easy. There's a whole rulebook full of the do's and don't's of Chuck E. But anyways... that's really all... Easter was a few days ago and it was fun, and so now the only holiday left is Jake's birthday which could happen anytime between now and the 17th of May. Hopefully he doesn't come out now because I wouldn't want him premature, we want him healthy, and as the tests show he is healthy... well, a little too healthy. He weighs 5 lbs. 14 oz. and for his age, he should barely be pushing 5, so he's a chubster. But uh, yeah that's it... Looking forward to work in a few days, so yeah, later doods!

Oh! and also... I wanted to update my "Top 10 Songs" so here they are :P

MY TOP 10 SONGS FOR APRIL 2010 (SO FAR)
1) Tickets & Passports - HOLIDAY PARADE
2) Getaway - HOLIDAY PARADE
3) Crazy, Crazy Nights - KISS
4) The Consequence - YOU ME AT SIX
5) When 3's A Crowd - A DAY TO REMEMBER
6) Empty Sighs & Wine - ISLES AND GLACIERS
7) Cemetery Weather - ISLES AND GLACIERS
8) Mess I Made - PARACHUTE
9) Come On and Get Higher - MATT NATHANSON
10) Creatures Of The Night - KISS